My mind wanders. It wanders a lot. Given my somewhat lengthy, but beautiful, commute, (yes, a commute can be beautiful), my mind wanders a lot on my way home.
And 9 times out of 10, my mind wanders to Lucie.
Even though I have 2 kids running amok – well, one is dancing and prancing around like a prima ballerina or showing off her impressive yoga skills and the other is crawling, bear walking, and pulling himself up to standing like no tomorrow, while dealing with 4 teeth coming in – the house still feels empty. Something, someone is missing.
It’s amazing how the absence of one family member leaves this huge void.
When the doorbell rings, I still anticipate the barking that accompanied it.
When Peanut is blowing bubbles outside, I wait for Lucie to come up running, trying to eat as many bubbles as she could.
When I’m chopping up chicken, shredding pork, or braising beef, and a piece drops to the floor, there’s no one there to clean up after me.
I miss walking the neighborhood (though I don’t really need a dog for that) and guaranteed walks in the parks on the weekends.
To date, Peanut is taking it all very well. Every now and then she’ll tell me that she misses Lucie. And I can finally respond back to her without crying.
Peanut, the other day, found a Lucie hair weaved into her car seat. She showed it to me and, instead of flicking it away as she usually would, she tucked it away safely into the cup holder of her seat.
Let the tears commence.